He doesn't want to hurt me, what should I do?

My best friend and I were thinking about taking the next step. We are just Freshmen in high school, both 15 turning 16. Somehow I fell in love with him, and just looking in his eyes, I noticed no other boy has ever gazed at me like that before. He amazed me, funny how he used to be my #1 enemy! Ha ha- I love him so much. I've never had a real boyfriend before, I mean I did online once but I it was a bad idea. I never met that guy, so we broke up.(twice) Kinda ironic how he told me to go out with my best friend instead(Never say that to a girl when breaking up with her!)Then I had a crush on one of the school jocks. Secretly I had a crush on my best friend too but I was determined to keep him as like a brother. This crush started from the time he first held my hand, he joked with most of his friends who were girls like that too but this turned out different. He defiantly startled me and slowly our eyes met. It was so weird, I mean I never held a boys hand before! We were in 8th grade at this time. We never spoke of that again till a year later- but that another story for another time! Ha ha! SO as I was saying. . . I got over the jock after attempting to tell him how I felt. I ended up having to write a letter, and guess who asked to give it to him. Yep, my best friend. The jock didn't take it, to my surprise it angered my friend. He didn't like This jock or computer dude. After those two I crushed on a guy who also I haven't met. This time it wasn't on a website, it was on my phone. My friend was trying to get a hold of this one guy. It came out to be the wrong number, but the guy had the same name as the other guy my friend as trying to contact. I didn't expect him to be so sweet and kind. Even if that was true, I never met him so I had to let him down lightly. We stayed friends and still have not met. Everyone spoke harshly of my best friend, before I would've agreed but there was more to him. Sure, he was jerk sometimes, and has a big mouth, may do stupid things but if people could just take the time to get to know him, they would understand why I love him so much. Hes kind, sweet, funny, silly, caring, loving, determined and sometimes a lil romantic. He hates guys who make girls cry, he loves me. He gone out with a few other girls, he trusts me so much that he told me about these girls. He almost never gets jelous. He has some interesting music likes, and has expanded mine too. Oh- sorry! I got off track. . . as i was saying~ I talked to my sis/friend about a certain subject. I didn't get all I wanted to say out, I usually end up getting my words jumbled up. One day me and my bestfriend were talking. He said those exact things I was thinking before but just couldn't say. When I spoke, he listioned so attentively. It amazed me, to think someone would give an ear to hear me out. Usually all my friends would dump all their thoughts on me, without giveing me a chance to say. Or they just didn't care. This boy, he was different. One day I got upset and left the table. I wanted to say something to Nick, but I just couldn't. I didn't want him to worry, but I had to get away, the other boy was annoying the heck out of me. My other friend Paypay didn't even glance over at me. She didn't seem to care. Perhaps she was too tangled up in her own life issues. Nick, he actually got up and walked to me. He sat across the table from me and asked "are you okay?" "Whats wrong?" He cared so much, that made me so happy. I wanted to cry from being so happy. Summer came, we stayed up on the phone talking all night. We called each other all the time! Throughout that whole summer, we talked to each other everyday, except for a day! We went on a so called "date". . . with my parents. . . HAHAHA! Yeah, my parents~ I loved his laugh~ His smile~ His hand that held mine. I love it all. We went to concerts bringing my bestfriend Kim along. His mom and dad were funny. It creeped Nick out how much I texted or talked to his dad on the phone. I find it funny, hilarious, I can make a book out of this! Haha! There was one song that he used to have me sing on the phone all the time! "All I want to do" Hahaha! He said I sounded just like the woman who sang it! Oh! And there was that time when we were on the phone and he had to go to the restroom- poor guy- he forgot to put the phone on mute~ you can guess what happened after that. He was so embarrest, but I laughed. I couldn't help it- it was just too funny and I couldn't hold this laughter in. He seemed so releaved that I was laughing. He probily didn't see that comeing, gosh I love him. Oops- did I do it again? Get off track- okay so I'll skip the story of when we went to homecomeing~ and fastfoward though the first few months to highschool. No, we never started going out but there were rumors that there were. I kinda did wnt to and he did too at first but then he realized something. He told me he wanted to stay as friends. I felt like he was breaking up with me, which was kind of weird